A Shot to the Heart
by JackiLeigh
Summary: Tony is shot and tries to say his goodbyes.
1. Chapter 1

A SHOT TO THE HEART

**An: I don't normally do a lot of touchy-feely with these guys because it just doesn't match their characters, except maybe Abby. At any rate, I just wondered if Tony had a heart-to-heart with each of his team mates, what would he say? Here's what I came up with, enjoy. Sorry for the short chapter. Also, it will take several chapters to get to the truly mushy stuff.**

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs shouted.

Tony's head shot up from the area he was working around their dead Marine.

"One more reference to ANY movie WHATSOEVER and you are banned from talking about movies for 3 days." Gibbs threatened.

Ziva and Tim both continued working smiling at the prospect of not having to listen to Tony rant for 3 days. They knew he would never be able to help himself.

"Boss!" Tony pleaded. "That's harsh."

"Tony, I do not want to hear about Dennis Spade or Jean Clyde VanDamn or whoever for the whole time we are out here working this scene." Gibbs said.

"Boss…?" Tony said, wanting badly to correct Gibbs on the names.

"One more thing." Tony said, standing up. "Really quick, I promise."

"What?" Gibbs said gruffly.

"OK." Tony said speaking really quickly. "It is actually Dennis Quad and Jean Claude. They were not in th-."

Tony stopped speaking abruptly groaned and fell to the ground clutching the right side of his chest. He had just been shot, the bullet entering just below his rib cage.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

It took Gibbs a second or two to process the fact that his senior field agent was no longer speaking to him. He looked down at his senior field agent, no more than 5 feet away from him lying on the ground. It was Tony's moaning that brought them all back to reality.

Gibbs, Ziva and McGee immediately drew their weapons, and scanned the area to see if they could locate the shooter.

"Ducky, its Tony!" Gibbs called to Ducky who was virtually right beside Tony, examining the body. He had not heard any sound. But had seen Tony fall and was turning to attend to Tony when Gibbs called. Palmer was pulling the stretcher out of the back of the truck. He was startled by Gibbs' shout and looked around the back doors of the truck. He saw Tony lying on the ground. Thinking quickly, he jumped into the back of the van and grabbed the first aid kit and all else he thought they could possibly need. Though he had no clue what had happened. He had not heard anything either. He than raced to Ducky's side loaded down with supplies. He stopped and dropped to his knees spilling the supplies onto the ground.

"Thank you, Mr. Palmer." Ducky said, taking a package of sterile gauze and unwrapping it.

Jimmy made the 9-1-1 call and then began to gently try to move Tony's hands away from his chest, so that Ducky could examine him. Tony automatically began to resist, not realizing what was going on.

"McGee, you guard Tony! Ziva, you're with me." And with that, Gibbs and David took off running in the direction of the shot.

"Anthony, " Ducky said, as he gently but firmly pushed Tony's hand away from the wound. "I need to examine you."

McGee scanned the area continuously. His eyes never stopped moving and he stayed as close as he could to Tony, Jimmy and Ducky without interfering in Ducky's work.

Ducky unzipped Tony's black NCIS jacket and moved it out of his way, he then unbuttoned Tony's dress shirt. He took notice of the large amount of blood already soaking the shirt before he gently and carefully removed it from over the wound.

Tony moaned repeatedly, trying to recover the wound with his hands. "Ducky, chest hurts. What…happened?" A thin line of blood appeared at the corner of his mouth and flowed down his cheek.

Ducky said nothing, concentrating on applying pressure to Tony's wound with the gauze.

"Ducky!" Tony repeated when Ducky did not answer immediately.

"Sorry, dear boy." Ducky said applying more pressure to the wound. "You were shot. You will be fine."

Tony nodded his understanding. He coughed to clear his throat and it brought on a new, fresh wave of pain. Tony closed his eyes until the pain ebbed and his breathing slowed.

"Ducky." Tony said. He grasped Ducky's hand with his bloody one. "Thank you, for all of it. I…."

McGee looked down at Tony when he heard Tony speak. Tim's fear and shock apparent on his face. The sight of blood flowing from Tony's mouth unnerved him. He had heard if someone begins to bleed from the mouth there is serious internal damage and that they are as good as dead. Tim tried to hide his fear. He needed to be strong for Tony. He knew if Tony saw or sensed his fear; it could affect him in a negative way.

"Anthony, we will not say goodbye today." Ducky felt the tears well up. "We have many, many more years to work together."

"...hurt...bad, Ducky." Tony confessed.

"I know, Anthony. I know." Ducky said, confirming. "But you will survive this."

"…pain." Tony moaned.

Ducky nodded. He instructed Jimmy to apply pressure to the wound. Ducky needed to be able to watch Tony for signs of shock. Ducky settled down beside Tony, and not being able to do anything else medically for his patient, he talked to Tony. Tim and Ducky exchanged looks. It confirmed Timothy's worst fears. Tony knew he could die. He even thought he was going to die. What was even scarier to them was that Tony had seemed to make his peace with it.

"ETA, Mr. Palmer?" Ducky asked, opening another pack of gauze and handing it to Palmer.

"Three minutes." Palmer replied.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**AN: Again, forgive my severe lack of medical or military knowledge here and throughout this story. ENJOY!**

Tim was still keeping a watchful eye on the surroundings. He visually scanned the area repeatedly, looking for signs of the shooter and waiting for Gibbs and Ziva to return. He knelt down beside Tony, concerned as more blood flowed down Tony's cheek.

"Tim." Tony said touching Tim's hand.

Tony's use of his first name terrified McGee. It made his blood run cold. Tim looked down at Tony, sparing only a glance. He still needed to patrol their surroundings.

"Tim, it's…been…." Tony spoke haltingly, squeezing Tim's hand. Tony groaned loudly as more blood cascaded down his cheek

Tim shook his head vehemently. "No Tony! No!" McGee squeezed back. "This is NOT goodbye. Do you hear me? You are not going to die today. And this is not Gibbs talking. It's not your time." He felt tears come into his eyes and made no effort to wipe them away.

Ducky and Palmer looked at Tim sympathetically when they saw what Tim was going through.

Tony began to choke on the blood that was now blocking his windpipe. His eyes slide closed as his whole body arched. He had gone into convulsions, his body fighting for air.

Gibbs and Ziva returned in time to see the last seconds of Tony's convulsions. Though the whole episode lasted only about a minute, it was extremely painful and disturbing to watch.

Ducky turned Tony's now limp body onto its side. He rubbed Tony's back as the blood flowed from Tony's partially open mouth. Palmer resumed his job of applying pressure to the wound. Tony had not started to breathe again. Ducky struck him hard on the back. Gibbs thought hard enough to do some real damage. The first blow did nothing. The second blow initiated a swift, though painful, intake of air.

Gibbs backed away from Tony. He wanted to go back into the woods and drag someone anyone out and make them pay for what they had done to Tony. As angry as he was, he was more hurt. Upset his senior agent, his friend was injured, and upset that he had had to watch Tony's seizure. He was not prepared to watch Tony die. He knew there were risks with the job. He knew he would have friends in the job. He knew he would get close to people. He knew he would hate to see them die in the line of duty. He had never and could never have anticipated Anthony DiNozzo. It was not possible. Tony had been a force of nature.

He had first met a cocky, smart-ass kid. This was the exact type of person Gibbs would have sent on his way quickly when he became team leader at NCIS. He had, in fact, sent many 'DiNozzo-type smart asses' on their merry way. But Tony was different. That was a deep person beneath all that smart-ass. Gibbs quickly decided that that person was someone he would like to get to know. The fact that Tony was not afraid of him and keep him in line had been an extra added bonus. Gibbs always found that amusing. When there were so many people, Gibbs knew, were afraid of him at NCIS. Tony hadn't so much as flinched, when others, he knew, would have ran away crying.

Tony lay still for a few moments. When he felt he could speak he put one bloodied hand on top of Jimmy's as Jimmy applied pressure to his wound. "Thanks Jimmy. Your advice …."

"You are going to be around for years to get my advice. I was very appreciative and honored you asked. I was glad to help." Jimmy said, not letting up pressure. He could tell his eyes were wet, but he hoped Tony didn't notice.

Tony nodded and closed his eyes to rest. Gibbs knelt down opposite Ducky and helped ease Tony back onto his back, while Ducky also kept a watchful eye on Tony's airway. "ETA on the ambulance."

Palmer spoke up looking at his watch. "Actually, they should have…."

"What!" Gibbs said fuming, looking around for any trace of the ambulance and listening for the siren. "McGee, get them on the line and tell them to hurry! Now!"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**AN: I didn't realize that chapter 3 was so short. So for all of you who were screaming at me to "GET HIM TO THE HOSPITAL, ALREADY!' He's there. Again, I am not medical professional, so excuse the mistakes. More angst to come, ENJOY.**

Tony's breath was coming in short audible gasps. His eyes flew open and were filled with fear as he began to choke again.

Gibbs and Ducky again moved Tony onto his side. He began to breathe again, almost immediately. Palmer continued to apply pressure.

"Ziva, come and sit with Anthony, my dear." Ducky said, looking up at her.

Ziva nodded, sat down in front of Tony with Tony lying on his side beside her, facing her. Unsure what she could do to help him she moved her hand to his head, running her fingers through his hair.

"Good work, my dear, the dear boy is not breathing nearly as hard." Ducky said, encouraging Ziva. She too had noticed the change. She was glad she had actually done something to help.

Ziva had not notice Tony had opened his eyes until he spoke.

"Ziva." Tony said, reaching the short distance for her hand and grasping it. "I'm glad…."

Ziva shook her head. Tears began to stream down her face when she realized what he was about to say. She moved her hand to stroke his cheek. "You will survive this Anthony DiNozzo. I will not lose my partner and my friend today. Do you understand?" Ziva said firmly despite the still flowing tears.

Tony nodded. He was growing weaker by the second and the ambulance had still not arrived.

McGee, who had been on the phone the entire time with dispatch, returned with news. "There's been a massive pile up on the main road here. They have had to detour around and now will be here in two minutes."

Gibbs and Ducky nodded. Ducky looked down at his patient, hoping he would make it till the ambulance arrived.

The ambulance did arrive within the two minute time limit. They loaded Tony quickly and were back on the road in about 4 minutes. Thanks to Palmer, Tony's blood loss was minimal, but there was no way they could no the extent of the internal damage until Tony went into surgery.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Tony was wheeled out of surgery and into a private ICU room 4 hours later. His right lung had collapsed. There had been nicks and tears from the path of the bullet to internal organs. But the biggest and most dire complication had been the coma that Tony had slipped into during surgery. His body had not been able to take the added assault of surgery and had decided he needed a rest. He had been hooked up to a respirator, a morphine pump and a couple of IVs.

"Coma!" Gibbs said, after Dr. Jonathon Becker explained the situation and Tony's prognosis. He looked through the unobstructed observation window into where the comatose field agent now lay.

Gibbs, Tim, and Ziva had been out in the field looking for evidence of their shooter and finishing the collection of evidence on the original crime scene. Tim and Ziva returned to NCIS so that Abby could process the evidence, and so that they could give her the news about Tony, which neither was looking forward to doing. They then dropped Gibbs off at the hospital so that he could receive an update on Tony's condition. Ducky and Palmer had returned to NCIS with the original victim and were awaiting news on Tony's condition.

Ziva and Tim walked into the lab, their arms full of evidence bags. Evidence in Tony's shooting involved a strip of a black and white checked flannel shirt snagged on a branch in the path Gibbs believed the shooter took when he made his retreat after shooting Tony. There were also two spent rounds from the same type of gun. This led Gibbs to believe that the shooter shot the marine and then waited around for NCIS to arrive. Abby turned to greet them, but could tell that they had both been crying.

"What!" Abby asked, wringing her hands. "What?" She looked past them and when she didn't see anyone else follow them into the room she became even more panicky. "Gibbs?" She paused, no reaction. "DiNozzo?" She flung herself at Tim. "Oh god, not Tony! Not Tony?" She released her grip and stepped back. "He's not…."

Ziva shook her head, again at the verge of tears, remembering what Tony had wanted to say to her. "He is not dead. He is in surgery. We dropped Gibbs off at the hospital to get an update on Tony's condition."

Gibbs took that exact moment to call McGee's phone. "Boss." McGee said, answering on the first ring.

Both Ziva and Abby fell silent to listen to Tim's side of the conversation.

"Yes, Boss." McGee's expression changed, but it was unreadable. "Yes, I will tell Abby."

Gibbs then made the call to Ducky.

"Tim," Abby said, growing alarmed. "What is it? What is going on?"

"Coma?" It was the only word Tim could manage to say. He shook his head in disbelief.

"Tony is in a coma?" Abby asked.

Ziva was stunned. She couldn't speak.

"Comas are not good, Tim. People don't wake up from comas. They die. We can't lose Tony that way. He can not die. Gibbs wouldn't allow it." Abby said, pacing the floor of her lab.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"While you and Gibbs were gone looking for the shooter…" Tim confessed to Ziva. "…Tony tried to say goodbye to me. I wouldn't let him."

"Shooter, oh god! Shooter! Tony was shot. Where was he shot? Who shot him?" Abby asked. Then she paused. "Oh god!"

Ziva's Mossad training calmness returned. "In the chest, and we do not know." Ziva said. "We must get upstairs, Abby." She gave Abby a big hug and stepped back. "What we have to do now is find out who shot him and why."

"You're right." Abby nodded, wiping away tears she didn't know she had cried. "I have work to do. You two get out of here! Find out who hurt Tony!"

Ziva and Tim both nodded and turned to leave.

"Tim, what did Gibbs want you to tell me?" Abby asked, almost forgetting Tim's comment on the phone.

Tim nodded having forgotten about the message. "As soon as you finish with the evidence, go stay with Tony."

Abby nodded, but the statement only made her cry. She knew Gibbs wouldn't order her by stay by Tony's side unless he was really, really worried.

Once out in the hall Ziva turned to Tim. "While you were on the phone with the dispatcher…he tried to tell me goodbye. I too would not permit him to say it."

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

(Dream scene)

He then heard a familiar voice. It took him a moment to place it.

"Kate? Kate? I hear you, but I can't see you." Tony said. He had been walking for hours it seemed though the scenery was beautiful. He had found a park bench to sit on to rest.

The area was suddenly surrounded by a white mist, blocking out the beautiful green scenery of the park. A woman in a white dress immerged from the mist and took a seat beside Tony on the bench. She slipped her hand into his and smiled at him.

"Kate!" She seemed to appear from nowhere. Tony surprised himself, leaning over and kissing her cheek. He squeezed her hand also. "As beautiful as I remember."

"That DiNozzo charm."

"Aw, you missed me." Tony flashed her his winning smile.

"I do miss you. I miss Abby, and Tim, and Ducky. God help me, sometimes I even miss Gibbs."

Tony leaned back on the bench and sighed. "It's beautiful here."

"You can't stay."

"Then why am I here?" Tony asked. "Why are you here?"

"You needed to talk to me." Kate explained.

"I did." Tony said. Tears had begun to fall from his eyes. "I wanted to thank you."

Kate turned to face him and brushed the tears from his eyes. "I…."

Tony shook his head. "I owe you my life. I would have given up if you had not been in there with me. You know me, Kate." Tony paused, fresh tears on his cheeks. "You knew I would need a distraction. You risk your life to be that distraction. I didn't understand…I don't understand."

Kate moved closer to Tony. She pulled him into her arms and he moved closer wrapping his arms around her. "I didn't consider the personal risk." She paused, resting her head on his shoulder and talking into his ear. "I just thought of the rest of my life. I just could not picture…I couldn't image what it would have been like without you in it. Besides, you returned the favor. A few weeks later, when you came back to work too early." Kate chided.

"You love me." Tony said simply, like a child.

Kate sat back and looked at him. She then raised her hands to both sides of his face and wiped away his tears.

"I love you too, Kate."

With that said Kate stood up and sort of disappeared as the mist appeared and enveloped her again.

Tony was alone again, sitting on a bench, enjoying the beautiful scenery.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

**AN: I am not sure about the procedural/forensic stuff or the military stuff, so those of you in the know please forgive me. I just went with what sounded like common sense to me.**

"CLEAR! 400!" Dr. Becker put the paddles to Tony's chest for the second time. His body arched off the bed and fell again. Seconds later there was a heart beat. The doctor waited for the rate to even out and increase before he put the paddles back on the crash cart and ordered the Code Blue team out of his patient's room and back to their normal work stations.

"BP 125/45, respirations 12, pulse 62." Nurse Joyce Carter said looking down at Tony. She left her hand resting on his chest until she was sure her patient was out of danger.

"Ok." Dr, Becker nodded. "He's gonna make it. Thank you for a job well done." The team left the room and Dr. Becker remained with his patient for a moment longer checking his machinery and tubes to insure proper placement and working order.

###

Abby worked like a mad woman. She reported to Gibbs that the casings were indeed identical, fired from the same weapon because of the markings made on the outside of the casing as the bullets exited the barrel of the gun. The fabric had no DNA on it and was likely worn as an outer garment for warmth. So the shooter probably didn't even realize he had torn it from his clothing.

"Gibbs." Tim said as soon as Gibbs made it to the bullpen. "Ducky needs you and so does Abby. But first, our dead marine, a gunney, Jason Henderson had been out on maneuvers and for some reason wandered off from the rest of his squad. No one had noticed he was missing until they stumbled onto Henderson's body. No one had heard a shot fired. I talked to his commander and a fellow gunney."

"Marines don't WANDER off during maneuvers. That is an automatic severe reprimand, a clear defiance of an order. He could have wondered into an area with planted land mines. Only the team leader knows and he does not give out maps until the beginning of that particular exercise."

"LIVE mines?" Ziva asked, surprised the U.S. would use live mines for exercise purposes.

Gibbs nodded. "They are not loaded like the regular ones. These have enough power to cause damage to exposed skin. That type thing, it's more like a blast of compressed air than anything."

"Hardly scary." Ziva said.

"But enough to remind those guys what a real one can do." Gibbs retorted. "You two work on the why. I need to get downstairs to Ducky and Abby." Gibbs said leaving the bullpen and heading towards the elevator.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

Watching Gibbs leave both Tim and Ziva could not help but let their eyes rest on Tony's very empty desk for a moment.

"Our Marine was shot in the chest. Death was likely instantaneous. It turned his aorta into Swiss cheese." Ducky said, pulling back the skin so that Gibbs could see the remains of the blood vessel. "Abby has the bullet." Ducky moved away from the table he took his gloves off and washed his hands.

Gibbs turned to leave and was almost out the door before Ducky spoke. "Jethro."

Gibbs turned around and stood still for a moment, waiting for Ducky to speak. When he didn't, Gibbs walked back over to his friend. It was only then that he saw the turmoil on Ducky's face.

"Ducky?" Gibbs said, standing directly in front of his dear old friend.

Ducky shook his head. "Anthony…."

Gibbs felt himself panic at the mention of his senior field agent's name, given Ducky's current behavior. "What, Ducky? What about Tony?"

"Anthony knew how badly he was injured out there in the field. He _said_ he was in bad shape and that he was in a lot of pain."

Gibbs stood expressionless.

Ducky, seeing that Gibbs didn't grasp what he was really saying, continued. "Tony said goodbye, Jethro."

Ducky paused and waited for the Gibbs to wrap his mind around what he had said.

"He _tried _tosay goodbye, I should say. I wouldn't let him finish. He spoke to all of us. None of us would allow him finish." Ducky turned his gaze to the floor. He didn't want Gibbs to see the tears in his eyes. Ducky quickly and he hoped, inconspicuously, wiped his eyes. "But, Jethro, as bad as that was. It was as if Tony had accepted it. He had made his peace."

"If that is the case… "Gibbs said, turning to leave. He had to get to the hospital.

"...he may not come back." Ducky finished Gibbs' thought as Gibbs left autopsy, heading for the elevator.

The elevator doors closed and Gibbs flipped the switch. He sunk down to the floor of the elevator and put his head in his hands. Tears streamed down his face at the thought of losing Tony. He had not hurt this much since Shannon and Kelly died. He sat on the floor for several minutes, his body shaking as he sobbed. He beat his fists against the floor and walls of the elevator in anger and sorrow. It took several more minutes for him to compose himself, for him to stop shaking and his tears to stop. He stood up and wiped his eyes. He waited for several more minutes until the redness disappeared from his face, for the most part. As badly as he wanted to get to the hospital, it would have to wait. He had to see if his team had come up with any answers, then to MTAC at the director's request.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

Tim sighed. "He was just there, this morning… and now." Tim said to Ziva as he stared at Tony's empty desk.

"Do not think like that Tim. Tony needs us to solve this case for him." Ziva paused. "I will even help you out. Come on McGruff. Lead the way."

Tim smiled. He had not seen the commercial for McGruff the crime dog in a long time. "McGruff? You don't watch TV. You don't own a TV. Do you?"

"No. But I saw a poster on the wall of the bus station. I like the look of the dog in a trench coat. It was rather hilarious." Ziva explained.

"Okay." Tim paused, considering. "It is a lot better than McGoo or Probalicious." Tim nodded. "I like it."

"So," Ziva started. "As Gibbs said, a marine would not wander off from maneuvers. So why did Henderson?"

"Someone or something got his attention." Tim suggested.

"Who and Why?"

"Abby said the casings had no fingerprints on them, right?" Tim asked walking around to the front of his desk and leaning against it.

"Correct." Ziva went over and leaned on the front of Gibbs' desk.

"So he wore gloves."

"Do you prescribe to Gibbs' theory that the shooter shot Tony and Henderson?"

"It points in that direction, Ziva, depending on Henderson's time of death. I mean, I can't imagine waiting hours for NCIS to show up, if we really were the target."

"But even if Tony had been the target." Ziva said pacing between the desks in the bullpen. "This person had no way of knowing it would be OUR team who took that call. It could have been any of the other teams sent out today to that scene."

"That makes it seem way too random."

"What is way too random, McGee?" Gibbs asked returning from talking to both Abby and Ducky. He went to his desk and sat down.

"This shooting. If Tony had been the target, this person had no way of knowing it would be OUR team who took that call." McGee explained.

Gibbs sighed. "Except, Abby said the weapon was government issue. Henderson was killed instantly. The bullet ruptured his aorta. Ducky estimated time of death to be around 1 p.m. The body was discovered around at 1:32 p.m. We arrived at 2:17 p.m. Tony was shot about 2:30 p.m."

"I can't believe it would be one of our own" Tim stated, shocked.

"NCIS or FBI, correct Gibbs." Ziva asked, referring to the fact that these two agencies sometimes issued the same type weapons to their agents.

Gibbs nodded. "We have some NCIS or FBI whack job going around shooting and killing military personnel and federal agents."

"What? Henderson is not the first?" Tim asked.

"There are NCIS, FBI and navy and marine unsolved cases. Tobias is looking into the FBI cases. I/ We are taking the rest." Gibbs got up and headed for the stairway. "I am needed in MTAC. Tim, pull the unsolved cases as far back as 2000. We may need to go back farther, but start there. We don't know when this all started. Ziva, go see Abby, help give her a fresh prospective on this evidence."

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

AN: I BS'd the part about the bullet casing, and other forensic stuff in this chapter.

Tim sat down at his computer and began typing away. He also got on the phone and requested hardcopies. Ziva made her way down to the lab.

Abby was sucking hard on a Caf-Pow when Ziva walked in. It sounded like she had hit the bottom and was still trying for more. Abby slammed the cup down hard on the table. "This is as frustrating as hell, Ziva. I have been looking at this for...forever. I can't see anything more. I don't know what I've missed."

"That is why I am here." Ziva announced. "You need fresh ears."

"Actually, Ziva, the term is fresh EYES." Abby said, giving Ziva a huge hug. "And yes I do."

Ziva hugged her back.

"Any more on Tony?" Abby asked stepping back and turning back to the evidence table.

Ziva shook her head going around to the other side of the table. "Not since Gibbs returned."

Ziva's phone rang and she snatched it up on the second ring. "David."

"Yes." Ziva said, her expression darkening.

"I see. Yes, Gibbs. I will."

Abby was beside herself listening to Ziva's end of the conversation. "What Ziva? What? Is it about Tony?"

Ziva walked around the table and hugged her. "He had an episode where…where his heart stopped." Ziva paused, willing herself not to cry. "But they got it restarted quickly and he is stable now."

Ziva could hear Abby crying. Neither woman said anything for a moment.

"I can't lose him, Ziva, not like this." Abby moved away from Ziva wiping the tears from her eyes. "And what does that mean 'stable'? I hate that word. I watch all those medical shows. They say the person is _stable_ and 10 minutes later he's dead."

"Abby." Ziva said, trying to calm Abby down. "The faster we review this evidence and find out who did this. The quicker you can get to the hospital to be with Tony."

Abby nodded. She and Ziva got to work.

Abby put the picture up on the screen of the two bullet casings the striations did indeed match from Ziva's perspective and limited knowledge of the subject. "These came from the same type weapon." Abby said. "That was easy enough to figure out, no problem there. There is too much weathering on the casing left at the scene to determine if it is from the same gun. The piece of flannel shirt is useless. It is ordinary fabric. No special manufacturer. There is no DNA material of any kind on it."

"Any shooter worth his salt is going to cop-out his brass, as Gibbs says. But they might not be careful in the storage of their ammo. "

Abby was pacing at this point. "Police his brass. But yeah, you're right. He would. One thing they stress to these guys, Gibbs said, is how to take care of their weaponry, their guns AND their ammo."

Ziva nodded and turned to the pictures on the computer screen. "So, is there some way to tell when they were fired?"

"Very good, Ziva. Very Good." Abby said, smiling. "I have been so worried about Tony I didn't run that test. We had just assumed they were fired recently. And actually Ziva, the answer to your question is no. There is a test for gunpowder residue. But it is easily altered by 'the elements.' That makes it notoriously unreliable." Abby said, fully animated now, walking around the lab and talking with her hands, also. "There is a test that measures the amount of weathering, how long it has been exposed to the elements. But that, also, is not a reliable test."

"How do you mean?" Ziva asked.

"For the gunpowder, rain can wash away a part of the sample giving the test a false reading. As for the weathering, I could leave a casing out in a field for a week. I could take it out of the elements and put it away somewhere, not clean it and relocate it to another field and leave it there for another week. It will show what might happen in a couple weeks time. But the circumstances and the time line would be way off."

Ziva nodded. "And since we suspect this crime scene has fabricated evidence." Ziva paused. "The casings are useless."

"The casings are useless." Abby repeated.

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

"Back to Round 1." Ziva sighed.

"Square 1." Abby corrected. "You really keep Tony on his toes, don't you?"

"I would not if Americans did not have sayings for EVERYTHING." Ziva explained, frustrated.

"We ARE fond of our sayings." Abby agreed.

Ziva sighed again. "At any rate, Abby, Gibbs is not going to like this."

"What won't I like, Ziva?" Gibbs asked entering the lab.

Ziva sighed. "We suspect fabricated evidence."

"The dead body in autopsy and the bullet in Tony's chest are real enough." Gibbs stated. He wanted this wrapped up. He needed desperately to get to the hospital.

Both Ziva and Abby sighed.

Abby started. "The brass and the bullets match up, for type." Abby paused.

"Okay." Gibbs said, knowing she wanted to continue.

"Ziva reminded me of something. I was so worried about Tony. I overlooked it." Abby punched a few buttons on her computer keyboard. "What is hinky is that these casings are from bullets not recently fired."

Gibbs stood mute. He was confused.

"These casings have been out in the weather for a little while. I can't give you an exact amount of time. But I would guess a week." Abby concluded.

"So they guy policed his brass and planted old brass, from the same type of gun." Gibbs surmised.

"He framed someone else." Ziva spoke up. "He did not know about this test, no?"

"There is nothing pointing to _another _person, unless you have more evidence I have not tested." Abby stated.

Both Gibbs and Ziva shook their heads.

"Ziva, you and I are going back to the scene. Tim is going to continue going over the cold cases." Gibbs turned to Abby. "You have a few hours to spare before we come back. Go see Tony." He paused. "Take Ducky with you. He has finished up in autopsy."

Gibbs turned leave and Ziva started to follow.

"Ziva!" Abby called, Ziva stopped and turned and Gibbs continued out of the lab. "Did it look to you like the bossman has been crying?" Abby asked, concerned.

All Ziva could do was nod before Gibbs called her name. She rushed to catch up with him. Abby sighed, closed down the lab and locked the doors. She then headed to autopsy.

Abby stepped into autopsy moments later. "Duckman, you and me are taking a little road trip."

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

"I would love to, my dear Abigail, at any other time, but I..."

"Bossman's orders."

Ducky smiled. He was more than happy to get away. Most days death did not bother him. It was a normal part of life. But today it had hit too close to home. It was one of his team members. And Ducky was afraid he would have had to watch Tony die. Ducky had autopsied Kate, and that had been unbelievably difficult. The most difficult thing he had had to do in his job at NCIS. But today was different. He had not seen Kate die. He had not seen Kate get shot. He had not watched her in her last moments on Earth. But he had seen Tony get shot. He had seen Tony grow weaker and weaker by the moment. He had thought, for a brief moment, that Tony would die. Seeing that and hearing Tony say his goodbyes. Tony knowing how seriously he was injured, that broke Ducky's heart.

Ducky nodded. "Mr. Palmer, finished up here as soon as you can and meet us at the hospital."

Abby smiled. "Could never fool you, Duckman."

Ducky nodded. "That and Jethro would never authorize a daytrip." Ducky teased Abby and smiled. The humor felt good and he needed to smile.

Ducky climbed into Abby's hearse. The front seat was deceptively comfortable and he and Abby fell into a comfortable silence, as Abby drove them to the hospital.

"Abigail," Ducky stopped Abby before they stepped into the ICU ward. "...I must tell you something. I do not want to upset you. But I feel you need to know." Ducky paused. "There is no easy way... Tony...Tony told us goodbye."

Abigail nodded. "I know. I heard Tim tell Ziva in the lab".

Ducky took her by the arms, gently and led her to a chair. They both sit. "He _tried _totell us all. We would not let him finish."

Abby sat, head bowed, shaking her head and crying. After a moment she looked up. "Gibbs didn't...?"

Ducky shook his head. "No, no headslaps from Jethro. Young Anthony never got the opportunity to speak to him. He was loaded onto the ambulance too quickly."

Abby nodded and wiped her eyes. "Probably a good thing." Abby jumped up from the chair and headed to the desk in the ICU. "We will not let Tony give up, Ducky. He is not allowed to give up."

Abby and Ducky spent 10 minutes at the nurses' desk outside Tony's room. No, they were not relatives. No, they were not his emergency call people. No, they were not associated in any way, shape, or form with his medical power of attorney. They were just his friends and his coworkers, plain and simple, and they wanted to see their friend. Even the fact that Ducky was a doctor didn't impress them.

Abby and Ducky were about to give up when Dr. Brad Pitt walked up to the nurses' station he had just been informed that Tony was in the ICU and had come up to consult with Tony's primary physician.

"Well, hello, Dr. Mallard, Ducky! Abby!" Brad said walking up to the nurses' desk. He requested Dr. Becker be paged, Tony's primary physician.

They both turned and greeted him, surprised to see him.

"I was called in to consult with Dr. Becker, Tony's primary." Brad looked at the nurses at the station and could feel the tension. "I am guessing here that you are not being allowed into Tony's room."

Ducky and Abby nodded.

"Ladies," Brad addressed the nurses. "This is Dr. Donald Mallard and Ms. Abigail Scuito. They are to be allowed access to Agent DiNozzo's room at all times. Also, Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs, Special Agent Ziva David, Special Agent Timothy McGee, Jimmy Palmer, and NCIS Director Leon Vance are to be allowed the same privileges. I have already cleared this with Dr. Becker, but please feel free to verify this with him."

With that Brad, Ducky, and Abby left the nurses' station and entered Tony's room. He was still in a coma. He was on a respirator, morphine pump, various IVs. He had also had a chest tube placed. The upper part of Tony's chest was uncovered and small areas of chest hair had been shaved away to allow for placement of heart monitor leads. His right lower chest was heavily bandaged. A tube had been placed to help drain fluid and to re-inflate the lung.

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

(Dream state)

**AN: This chapter is PURELY self-indulgent. There is a little "Jony?" (Jenny/Tony). I am also pretty sure that The Frog's name is spelled wrong. I gave Jenny's disease a name. I don't think Ducky ever said what is was Jenny had. **

_Tony had returned to the park bench. There was another woman suddenly sitting beside him. _

"_Jenny Shepard!" Tony turned and looked at her surprised._

"_Anthony." Jenny replied._

"_You've never called me Anthony before." _

_Jenny nodded. "I know. I know you feel responsible for my death. But you were not to blame. I chose to go alone, because I knew it would be dangerous. I knew I had put you through enough with Jeanne. The thing with Le Granouille was personal, Tony. It should have stayed out of the office. That last thing was personal, too. I was not going to let it enter the office."_

"_Jenny, I…." Tony started._

_Jenny put up her hand. "I was dying, Tony. I had another six months, tops."_

_Tony sat shocked and speechless._

"_Ducky did routine, blood work as part of my annual physical. He found a problem and did additional blood work." Jenny explained. "I had ALS, Tony." _

"_Jenny, I'm sorry." Tony said, tears streaming down his face._

_Jenny scooted closer to Tony and pulled him into an embrace. "I didn't have a death wish. I…I just didn't want you and Ziva to be hurt, possibly killed over something so personal. When I saw that car blow up, when we all thought you had been killed, part of me died that day. I couldn't even look at you when you came back. I was too ashamed. I had been too selfish and too self-absorbed to even consider the danger I had put you in. I paid no attention to the fact you might get hurt, physically or emotionally, and I am so very sorry for that."_

"_It's OK." Tony said. "I'm OK."_

"_No…No, it's not. I took advantage of you. I knew you were still dealing with Gibbs' departure. I knew you were still feeling out this new position, a little unsure of yourself. I took advantage of that, Tony. I knowingly took advantage of your vulnerability. "_

_Tony just stared, trying to process this new information._

"_It's time to go back, Tony." Jenny stood to leave. "Jethro, Tim, Ziva, Abby, Ducky, even Jimmy, especially Jethro, they all need you. You're the glue for that weird little family."_

_Tony grabbed her hand. "I needed the distraction. Anything would have done." Tony sighed. "I hadn't planned on falling in love. It happened. You aren't to blame for that. No one can predict the future."_

_Jenny smiled, realizing she had not fooled him for a moment._

_Tony stood and pulled her into his arms and hugged her tight. He kissed her cheek. "I am very grateful for the opportunity to get to know you." Tony said sincerely._

_Jenny looked up at him and smiled. "There are a couple of things I have always wanted to do, if you will indulge me." _

"_Sure." Tony said a little uneasily, unsure of her intentions. "Okay."_

_Jenny unbuttoned a couple more buttons on Tony's dress shirt to reveal even more chest hair. She slipped her hand inside to feel the luxurious matt. Jenny had always had a thing for chest hair. After running her hand over his chest a couple of times she then moved her hand up to the back of Tony's neck. She wanted to kiss those 'kissable lips.' She gently pulled his face closer to hers until their lips touched. She slipped one arm around his waist, left the other in his hair, and kissed him like she had always dreamed of doing. It left them both breathless._

_Jenny put both hands on his chest and pushed herself away from him. She looked up at him, smiling. "Umm. It was everything I thought it would be." She paused. "And much more." She took his hand again. "Thank you."_

_Tony just looked at her, a big grin spreading across his face._

"_You are a good man, Anthony DiNozzo. I was very blessed to have had you in my life." Jenny turned and walked away, disappearing into the fog._

_Tony started to walk again. He had this feeling he urgently needed to be somewhere._

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

Tony's fingers twitched. He had been in a coma for three weeks and Team Gibbs was concerned he would never come out of it. They had all spent time at his bedside. Sitting with him, talking to him, and telling him the latest news in the world of NCIS.

He was told the case of the dead Marine had been solved. The shooter had policed his brass. The brass Ziva had found was from someone else, some unrelated event and weapon. The guy had been some whack job who had sneaked into the field testing area. He then had just started picking off people at random. He was judged unfit to stand trial and was in a psych ward at Bethesda. He had been a wanna-be sharpshooter who had not made the grade in his psych eval.

Abby had felt Tony's left hand twitch, but she was not sure it was really him, or if it was her wanting him to get better so bad that she had imagined it.

Tony's hand moved this time, not just his fingers. Abby was overcome with emotion and started to cry. She squeezed his hand tightly in response.

"Abby?" Gibbs asked, concerned when he saw tears in her eyes.

Abby smiled. "He moved his hand."

Gibbs couldn't help but smile at this little ray of hope. Tony had not moved a muscle in three weeks. This meant he was trying to wake up. He was trying to come back to them.

Gibbs quickly exited the room and called the rest of the team and alerted Tony's nurse. They had all had a tough three weeks and were needing for any kind of good news. By the time Gibbs reentered the room Tony had his hands on the respirator tube and had begun to pull. Abby was talking to him and holding his hands, but panic had set in. Tony felt like he was choking.

"Tony!" Gibbs said racing to Tony's bedside.

Tony stopped immediately, trying to place the voice that called his name. It took him only a few seconds to recognize it as Gibbs'.

"Tony, stop fighting. Abby is trying to help you. Listen to her." Gibbs said, taking one of Tony's hands and holding it.

Tony looked in the direction of Abby's voice. He was unable to move his head because of the tube.

Abby had leaned over Tony. She was holding tightly to his hand and was talking in his ear. "Tony, the tube is there to help you. You need it to breathe. Don't pull it out. The doctor will take it out if you want. We don't want you to hurt yourself."

By this time Gibbs had grabbed Tony's other hand after having pried it off the breathing tube. "Listen to her, Tony."

Tony stopped fighting. He seemed to understand Abby, seeking her with his eyes. Tony suddenly closed his eyes and squeezed both their hands tightly. His features etched with pain. The episode only lasted for a few seconds.

Abby pressed the nurse call button. She had to let go and in that second, Tony grabbed the breathing tube and gave it a yank. Tony didn't pull the tube out. He just disconnected the two pieces. An alarm pierced the air, leaving Tony looking confused holding the tube in his hand.

Tony's nurse, Mallory, who was already on her way, picked up the pace when the alarm sounded. She arrived at her patient's room first. She was pleased to see her patient alive, awake, but slighfly confused, holding a piece of the breathing tube in his hands.

"Agent DiNozzo, my name is Mallory. It's nice to have you back." Mallory said. She manually turned off the alarm and then pried Tony's hand off the breathing tube. Tony's grip was strong, even in his weakened state. "Agent DiNozzo, I need to reconnect the tube. It's ok. The doctor will remove it, if you want."

By that time Tony's doctor, Dr. Gerald, a 50-year-old man with receding gray hair had arrived. "Agent DiNozzo, I will remove the tube if you want. Blink to let me know if you want the tube removed." Tony blinked several times.

"That was a definite yes." Dr. Gerald observed. "When I count to 3, I need you to blow out a really hard breath. The tube will be out in a matter of seconds,"

Dr Gerald completed the procedure and Tony lay back on the bed exhausted and breathing hard. He had bad to raise up slightly when the tube came out and it had worn him out. He closed his eyes and rested as his breathing returned to normal.

The doctor allowed Tony to rest as he checked Tony's IV's and the dressing over his wound. The wound was practically healed, except for a very small area were the incision site had become infected. The doctor then listened to Tony's lungs, putting his stethoscope on Tony's bare chest.

"Agent DiNozzo..."

"Tony…thank you." Tony said. His throat feeling and sounding like sandpaper.

"Tony," Dr. Gerald nodded. "...you are to give that throat a rest, 3 or 4 hours. You can have ice chips, but that's it.

Mallory magically appeared by Tony's beside with a cup of ice chips and a spoon. She fed him a couple of spoons full. Tony greedily took them, closing his eyes and letting the cold water soothe his throat.

Dr Gerald continued. "Your lungs sound clear." Dr, Gerald said, passing his stethoscope back around his neck. "I was concerned, given your past history. Your wound is also healing well. You had a secondary infection, but it will be all gone in a few days. You will not have any major scaring, just a thin red line. You will have to look hard to find it."

Tony opened his eyes and nodded to let the doctor know he had heard and understood what the doctor had said.

Mallory and Dr. Gerald left with instructions to Gibbs and Abby about the ice chips.

Tony closed his eyes again for just a moment. He then opened them, again and locked his gaze on Gibbs and Abby. They both moved from their spot in a corner, out of the way of the nurses and doctors. They took up spaces an either side of his bed.

Abby, who had been crying, happy he was now awake, stroked Tony's cheek. She then pulled up a chair and sat down. She then rested her head on Tony's shoulder, and laid a hand on his chest.

Tony put his hand in Abby's hair and gently pulled her pigtail.

Abby raised her head arid looked at him. "Tony?"' She laughed and tied to hug him, gently.

Tony smiled back, the old familiar mischief in his eyes. Tony then looked over Abby's head at Gibbs. Tony smiled at Gibbs reassuring Gibbs that he was ok.

Tony had seen how upset Gibbs had been when they were out in the field, before the ambulance came. How Gibbs had reacted to his convulsions. But Gibbs' anger had made Tony upset. He didn't understand why Gibbs had been so angry at him.

Gibbs looked at his Senior Field Agent. He was ecstatically happy that Tony was awake. These past three weeks had been torture, waiting to see if Tony would wake up at all. Thinking he had lost his friend and the man he thought of as his son hurt more than he could ever admit. Gibbs nodded at Tony, letting him know he got his message, loud and clear.

TBC


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

AN: WARNING Gibbs actually says a lot and shows some emotion.

Four hours later...

Gibbs had made himself comfortable beside Tony's bed. Team Gibbs' members had all dropped by and stayed with Tony until the nurses had run them off. Gibbs had refused to leave and made his position known by planting himself in Tony's chair and refusing to move. He was almost asleep when he heard Tony speak.

"Boss…upset?" Tony said, his throat felt a lot better, but it was still sore.

"What's wrong? Who upset you?"

Tony shook his head. "You."

"I upset you?"

Tony shook his head. "You…upset…me

"I'm upset with you?" Gibbs asked, wanting clarification.

Tony nodded. "Crime scene."

Gibbs shook his head, unable torecall what Tony was talking about, then he realized…. "No, Tony, I wasn't angry with you." Gibbs paused. "The movies, is that what this is about? You always talk about movies."

Tony shook his head. "After…."

"After you were shot..." Gibbs sat down again, and in a very uncharacteristic fashion, started talking. "Yes, I was upset. But not with you." Gibbs sighed.

Gibbs had never told Tony how much he loved him. How he thought of him as his son**. **He didn't think after Kelly died he could 'Father' anyone again. It would hurt too much. But things came easy between him and Tony. They had a very good working relationship. Gibbs genuinely liked Tony as a person and as an investigator. Tony was a direct, easy going person and he was one hell of an investigator. "

"After Kelly and Shannon died, it took me a long time to get close to people again, to let them in, but then I met you. You are the only person who stands up to me and lets me know when I am about to mess up or have messed up." Gibbs paused. "I am grateful for that, as much as it pisses me off sometimes. You probably won't believe this, but you remind me a lot of me before Shannon and Kelly died."

Tory stared at Gibbs, shocked, but he didn't say anything,

"I always imagined if I had a son, he would be a lot like you." Gibbs paused, he wiped his eyes. "I had always wanted a son. If Shannon had lived, we would have kept trying until we got one. Then I realized I had my son. There didn't have to be any biology involved, justhow I felt about him. That was all that mattered. The fact that I didn't meet him until later in life and that he isItalian and has green eyes and looks absolutely nothing like me is irrelevant."

Gibbs stopped speaking and Tony realized what Gibbs was saying, Tony just stared at Gibbs as tears formed in the corners of his eyes and streamed down the sides of his face. Gibbs wiped the tears away with his hands. "It made me angry to see you hurt. It killed me so see you bleeding and I was angry I couldn't help you. Then when you started having convulsions, it was like someone had ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it."

Tony started toopen his mouth, but Gibbs stopped him.

"You need to save your voice." Gibbs commanded. "I know I don't normally say this much, at one time, ever. But, I needed to say it. I know I don't normally do touchy feely, but having 3 ex-wives has caused me to rethink that a little bit. Maybe if I had, I would have one less ex or two."

Tony started so speak again, but again Gibbs stopped him.

"I do love you, Tony." Gibbs paused. "It would never put up with your antics from anyone else. I would never let Abby, Tim, or Ziva come into my home and live for weeks, months at a time. But I let you. I would never let anyone else get in my face and challenge my decisions. I need that from you though, Tony. You keep me on my toes. I need somebody is my life that will do that for me**."**

Tony smiled and nodded, tears forming at the comers of his eyes. "Means...a lot."

"Just don't get used to it, DiNozzo. I don't anticipate having this conversation with you ever again." Gibbs said, sitting back down in his chair.

"Thanks...Dad." Tony said, closing his eyes and drifting back off to sleep.

TBC


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17

When Tony woke again the room was full with all the members of Team Gibbs. "Hey."

"Hey, Tony." Abby said, she had got into the bed with him and was lying on her side, giving him plenty of room to move in the bed.

"You know…Jenny …was…sick?" Tony asked Gibbs.

"What…sick?" Abby asked. She, Ziva and Tim stared at Tony in shock.

"What was wrong?" Tim asked.

Gibbs was surprised by the question and it took him a few seconds before he nodded his head. "How did you find out?"

"She…told…me." Tony replied.

"When?" Gibbs asked. He didn't think Tony knew anything. Gibbs was sure Tony would have questioned him or Ducky as soon as Tony found out.

"Hard…to…explain." Tony said.

"You have seen her since you have been here?" Ducky asked for clarification.

Tony nodded.

Ducky turned to the others and explained. "It is not unusual for these types of things to happen. People claim to see all sorts of things. Especially if a person's heart stops or if they are in a coma." Ducky looked down at Tony. "Both of those instances apply in Tony's case." Ducky turned back to the rest of the team. "Nobody has an explanation as to how or what happens. But patients wake up with similar claims all the time."

"So, what was it like?" Ziva asked.

"She was real…touched her…talked…to her." Tony said, trying to describe the encounter.

Nobody said anything for a moment, until Tony spoke again. "Said …had ALS. Said …only had…6 months."

"ALS?" Ziva asked.

Gibbs nodded. "Lou Gehrig's Disease, right Ducky?"

"Right, Jethro." Ducky replied.

Tony was back at work several weeks later. He was on desk duty and it was driving him crazy.

Abby had hugged him almost unconscious since he had been back. She had loved that he had tugged on her pony tail when he had woken up. When she had heard he had tried to say goodbye it everyone, it terrified her. She could not stand the thought of losing him, not having him in her life. She just wanted to make sure he knew how much he meant to her.

Tony entered the lab and stood quietly behind Abby, watching her for a few moments.

Abby turned and smiled. "What do you need, DiNozzo?"

Tony went over to her and put his arms around her. "Just this." He said, hugging her tightly.

Abby sighed, slipped her arms around his waist and laid her head on his chest. "You're okay?"

Tony nodded and Abby felt it. She hugged him tighter.

"I'm much better. I'm healed, for the most part. I had a doctor's appointment today. He said I should be ready for active duty in another week." Tony stated.

Abby moved one hand and laid it on his chest. "I...we almost lost you." She said, tears streaming down he face.

"Almost only counts in horse shoes."

Abby slapped him gently on the chest. "You don't play horse shoes and this is not funny."

Tony kissed her cheek and kept his arms around her waist. "No, it's not."

"What you said to everybody out there..." Abby started.

"They wouldn't let me say anything." Tony replied. "They wouldn't let me finish."

"You have a lot of people in your life who care a great deal about you." Abby said smiling.

Tony smiled and nodded.

"You talked to everybody, except me." Abby pouted.

"I didn't talk to Gibbs." Tony replied.

"Good thing, you would probably have a concussion from the head slap he gave you."

Tony nodded.

Abby backed away from him, holding his hand instead.

Tony looked at her. "My Goth girl..."

Abby squeezed his hand.

"I don't know how we became friends. It sure didn't look that way when we first met." Tony stated. "I actually asked Gibbs if you were for real when I got back out in the hall with him. I just...I had never met a real Goth. The only ones I knew about were the ones who 'dressed' Goth for Halloween."

Tony smiled at Abby as she wiped away her tears. She put her arms around him again.

"I just saw a guy who was in DESPERATE need of a hug." Abby said simply. "Once I got past the smart-ass, that is." She then clarified.

"I wasn't that big of a smart-ass."

Abby nodded. "Enormous."

"Part of my charm."

"Yes, it is." Abby said, looking up at him expectantly.

"What?"

Abby nodded and smiled.

"Oh, come on. You'll start blubbering. I'll start blubbering." Tony stated. "It won't be pretty."

"I almost lost you. I've earned a good blubber." Abby tightened his grip around Tony's waist, encouraging him.

Tony sighed. "Like I said...when we first met I had no idea you would become someone so important to me. I had no idea we would become my best friends, or that I would come to love you so much. I love you, Abby, I know I tell you that a lot. You saved my life when Vance exiled me to Agent Afloat. I...your letters and postcards were a lifeline to me. I heard from everybody else, too. But those contacts were sporadic. I knew I could count on you for regular correspondence. I was so...alone out there sometimes. I know...on a ship of 5,000 people. But I was so alone. I was the odd man out. I was the enemy, the big bad cop there to spoil everybody's fun." Tony smiled sown at Abby and kissed her cheek. "You were my little ray of Gothic sunshine."

Abby grinned.

"When I had the plague, and Charles, Chuck, the crazy lab guy. I still haven't apologized enough for him. You worked so hard then, hours of work, to help me, to find answers. You wouldn't give up. I...I never properly thanked you for that."

Abby looked up at him. "You have thanked me a million times over Tony. The cute little gifts you get me. Just little things you think I might like. The caf-pows, the flowers, the weekend-long movie marathons, those things mean the most. We don't need to make grand gestures to each other.

Tony smiled to her. "I...I have never been so totally accepted by anyone before. I...most people would have just run away, hearing what I have been through. Learning of my past, they would have labeled me damaged goods or unstable. They would have decided that I was not worth their time. I...you know everything there is to know about me and you're...you're still here. You're still my friend. You didn't walk, run, away screaming."

Abby looked at Tony, tears streaming down her face. She touched his cheek. "When I look at you, I don't see 'damaged goods.' You are not damaged goods. When I look at you I see a man who overcame a hell of a lot as a child. I see a man who is generous to a fault. Who is selfless, but sometimes not in a good way. I want you to remember that. I see a man with a very good heart and a forgiving nature. I see past all that 'bad' stuff because I have seen your potential. I know the person you try to hide from the rest of the world. That person deserves to be let out more."

Tony shook his head and smiled. "I can't. He's the one who buys the Gucci shoes and the Louis Vitton shirts."

Abby laughed and stepped back from him. "I love that incredible sense of humor. And I love you, Tony, so much." She took his hand and squeezed it tightly before letting go.

TBC


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

AN: The part with Tony and Ziva is emotional and, therefore, very uncharacteristic. But I think it works and I hope you like it.

Ziva had followed Tony into the men's room a couple of days after he had returned to work. She put her arms around him and hugged him. She stood there for a moment and it took him a little bit to realize that she was crying. He pulled her against him, and she wrapped her arms tighter around him.

"I usually do not get emotional…"Ziva paused, looking up at Tony. "…but when you tried to tell me goodbye…."

"I want finish what I was going to say."

'"Why?" Ziva asked, wiping her eyes. "You are ok, yes?'

Tony nodded. "I want you to know how I feel."

"Tony?" Ziva pleaded. "I do not think I can stand to hear it."

Tony sighed. "I want you to know. I am sorry about Michael. I didn't mean for him to die. He could have killed me. He should have that night. He should have had the upper hand. I missed you so much when you decided to go back to Israel, but I understood. You felt I had betrayed you. You couldn't trust me. When I heard you had died…I couldn't let it go. I wanted revenge so bad, that I could taste it. Because, as much as you hated me when you decided to stay in Israel. That is how much I wanted, needed justice. Then..then when I saw you...I..."

"I pulled a gun on you, Tony. I knocked you to the ground and pulled a gun on you." Ziva said, shocked by his words.

Tony shook his head, dismissing it. "You were angry. If I had keen in your place, I would have been angry too." Tony paused. "You have been an excellent partner to me. You have been a great friend. I have told you things I have never told any other person. You have respected me and our friendship enough to keep those things to yourself to really appreciate that."

"That man, he tortured you, Tony." Ziva said, looking up at him and touching his face. "You got captured on purpose, knowing you would get tortured to save me." Ziva shook her head. "What if you had not survived?"

"As long as you did, that was all that mattered."

Ziva just looked at him. She was not used to such selflessness. Even her own father had never shown her such caring. She didn't know what to say. She just stared at him as tears steamed down her face.

Tony pulled her back into his arms. She wrapped her arms around him again, buried her head in his chest and sobbed.

TBC


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

AN: I took great liberties here and made up the scene from Tony's childhood.

"Anthony, good to see you again, my boy." Ducky said as Tony strolled into Autopsy at exactly 2 p.m. the time of his appointment.

Tony nodded. "It's good to be back, Ducky."

Ducky pointed to one of the unoccupied autopsy tables and Tony sat down. He unbuttoned his shirt and Ducky removed his bandage and checked his wound. He gently probed the area with his fingers. It was still tender and Tony winced a couple of times.

"I'll leave the bandage off, Tony. You're healed enough. Be careful with that area, it is still a little tender to the touch." Ducky said removing his gloves as Tony remained on the table.

Ducky stood and stared at him for a moment. He had expected Tony to get up and walk out the door.

"Ducky…" Tony said. "…I want to tell you what I was going to tell you that day." Tony buttoned his shirt as he talked.

"Anthony," Ducky said, looking at him. "You're fine. You will live to be an old man as long as one of the husbands of the women you date doesn't get to you first." Ducky said joking with him.

Tony smiled back at him, then he got serious. "I thought I was going to die out there, Ducky. And I was ok with it. Don't get me wrong. I don't want to die. But I am not afraid of dying, never have been." Tony paused, looking at his hands folded in his lap. "But I have never made my peace with it before, accepted it as fact." Tony looked at Ducky. "I just wanted to thank you. I know I am not an easy person to deal with when I'm sick. I don't like hospitals. I don't like doctors." Tony paused. "I have only ever told Gibbs this…."

Ducky didn't speak, but nodded, encouraging Tony to continue.

"When I was little, about 7, I broke my arm. I fell down a flight of stairs." Tony paused. "Well, that is not entirely true. I didn't fall. I had broken something of my dads. I don't remember what it was. I took off running to get away from him. He came after me, yelling, screaming at me, and calling me every name in the book. I had started down the stairs when he caught me. He grabbed me by the arm to stop me. Then he pushed me. I landed at the bottom of the stairs and he left me there. The housekeeper and my nanny took me to the hospital. They were told by my father EXACTLY what to tell the doctors. They were then instructed to drop me off. They did what they were told. They left me there, seven years old and terrified. I had no idea what was going on. Nobody tells a 7-year-old what they are going to do to him. They think he won't understand..." Tony paused. "...I had these people in white. People I didn't know, coming at me with all these machines. They wheeled me into a big room with this huge x-ray equipment and put me under it. They tell me to hold real still. Meanwhile my arm was hurting like hell and tears were streaming down my face." Tony paused and sighed. "It wasn't a good experience, Ducky."

"Oh, Anthony, that must have been absolutely dreadful. I am so sorry you had to endure that." Ducky said, he moved to stand beside Tony as he sat on the table. "Did you father…?"

Tony shook his head. "He was never charged with anything, He didn't even come to the hospital to see me. I was in there a week. My mom and my nanny came; the housekeeper came, when she could sneak out of the house." Tony sighed. "The doctors believed what the 'help' had told them. They had no reason not to. I don't even think they looked for signs of child abuse in those days. I had been to that hospital before. Nobody is as clumsy as my dad made me out to be. If anybody had looked back in my record, they would have seen a pattern. But, Ducky, my dad was a respected man. He gave a lot of money to a lot of people, very public money. Nobody would believe he was an alcoholic child abuser. That's not what people saw, not what they wanted to see."

"'I'm sorry, Anthony,"

"Yeah, me too.' Tony shook his head. "Every time I go into the hospital, l feel like that 7-year-old boy all over again."

Tony looked at Ducky. "I just wanted you to know, I appreciate how you handle me. You let me know what you are going to do to me. You listen to me. You know how far to push me to get me to do what you know is best for me. I'm glad you know me that well. I wanted to thank you, for all you've done for me."

Ducky nodded and there was a few moments of silence before either one spoke.

"It was hard Tony. It was hard to see you get shot. I have never seen anyone get shot before." Ducky said, trying to explain his emotions that day. "I have always thought of you as a very special young man. I know you and Gibbs have a special relationship. I always thought of you as something of a nephew. I didn't have any brothers and sisters. I never really gave marriage any thought. I guess I was too busy pursing my own interests for anything like that. I don't regret those decisions now. But there are times that I do wonder. At any rate…" Ducky said, shaking his head as if to get himself back on track. "…I feel very close to you."

Tony nodded his head and smiled. "I'm honored, Ducky."

Ducky put his hand on Tony's and patted it. "You just made an old man very happy, Anthony."

Tony put his other hand on top of Ducky's and squeezed it. "You aren't old, Ducky, just very wise." Tony smiled and got up off the autopsy table.

"Thank you, Anthony." Ducky said as Tony exited autopsy.

TBC


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

"Tim." Tony said to McGee as he passed by the stairs to the fourth floor on the way to the men's room. "Tim." Tony said again.

McGee automatically turned his head in Tony's direction. When he realized who was calling his name he took a mental inventory. What had he done wrong? Tony never called him by his first name without a reason.

Tony motioned Tim over and he reluctantly went. Tony smiled at him and put his hands on McGee's shoulders. "I need to talk to you."

"Tony, I…" McGee said, thinking of the thousands things he had to do today.

"I wanted to tell you what I was going to say...that day."

McGee just stared for a moment, knowing exactly which day he was talking about.

"You're ok…" McGee paused "…I mean, the doctors at the hospital and Ducky..."

Tony nodded. "I'm fine. I got cleared from the hospital and Ducky. I…."

"Then, what is there to talk about?" Tim said, starting to walk away.

"Tim..." Tony said, grabbing Tim's arm. "I really need to tell you this."

Tim turned and looked at him.

"Tim, I know how hard it is to do this type of work." Tony paused. "I wasn't trained for this either. I mean as a cop, you see the dead body. Then you walk away. You let the CSI people come in and do their thing." Tony leaned against the wall. "I think the first thing that always got to me, still does, is the smell. It took time to get used to this job, to spending so much time being around a dead body and it not freaking you out. I used to have dreams that the corpses became animated. They sat up. They talked. They walked. They did everything a normal human being would do." Tony looked at Tim. "I knew with your background, you had even less experience than I had. This is not an easy profession. The burn out rate is very high. The suicide rate is even higher. If you don't have something, besides this job...it can really get to you. I can see great things for you at NCIS, Tim. I hope Director Vance sees that too. He is grooming you for greater things. He sees than potential in you." Tony put his hand on both Tim's shoulders, again. "I told you all that to say this. I give you a hard time to toughen you up. Like I said, this job is hard. I knew with your computer background, you were entering uncharted territory. I wanted you to be able to take whatever this job threw at you. I also wanted you to be able to take whatever Gibbs threw at you. I have great respect for you and for your abilities, Tim. I really do. And I think my constant, unrelenting pestering and teasing have turned you into a fine agent and I take 100% credit for that." Tony smiled.

"I don't know what to say, Tony." Tim said his voice shaking.

"You don't have to say anything, Little Brother." Tony said, pulling him into a hug. "Not a thing."

McGee stepped back and stared at him. "Little brother?"

Tony nodded.

"Very cool, l've always wanted a big brother." Tim said and smiled back.

TBC


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Tony sat at his desk, long after everybody had left for the day. He knew Palmer used the back elevators to leave. Tony was waiting on him to come up and make his nightly delivery to Gibbs. This usually consisted of the paperwork on whatever findings Ducky had already told Gibbs about during that day.

Jimmy arrived on schedule and was surprised to see Tony at his desk. "Hey Tony." Jimmy said as he dropped the paperwork on Gibbs' desk and headed toward the elevator.

"Could I talk to you for a moment?" Tony said, his voice echoing on the now empty floor.

"Sure, Tony." Jimmy said, stopping in front of Tony's desk.

"I need to tell you what was going to say.., before." Tony replied.

Jimmy stared as him for just a second. "You're OK. I…Dr. Mallard said you were fine. You were down there today. He said you were OK."

Tony nodded. "I am fine. I'm healing well. No complications."

"Then...?" Jimmy questioned.

"I wanted to thank you."

"Thank me?"

"You helped me out so much when Gibbs was gone. I was having such a hard time, and you saw that. Everybody else was so wrapped up in what they were going through. I don't really blame them though. They had the luxury. I didn't. I had a team to lead and no clue how to do it. I needed the help you provided. I needed someone to run things by, get advice from. I could never say thank you enough for the help you provided me. I needed a kind word. Someone who ACTUALLY thought I could do the job. You provided me with both. It meant the world to me."

"Thanks, Tony." Jimmy said a little overwhelmed. "I saw how everybody was acting. I just didn't think they realized what you were going through. I knew that you were having just as hard a time as everybody else over Gibbs' leaving."

Tony nodded. "Pretty observant for a guy who works with DEAD people all day."

Jimmy smiled as he and Tony walked to the elevator.

NCIS NCIS NCIS

Tony was walking down Gibbs' basement stairs 45 minutes later. He sat down on the bottom stop and watched Gibbs sand his boat.

'You should be home." Gibbs said. He stopped sanding after 5 minutes of Tony sitting there and saying nothing.

"I needed company." Tony said. He stood up and walked over to the boat.

Gibbs sighed. "Ducky told me you talked to him." Gibbs paused. "He really appreciated you confiding in him."

"I know." Tony said, taking a piece of sandpaper and starting on another rib. "He has taken really good care of me over the years. I just wanted him to know how much I appreciate it."

"With what you said today, Tony." Gibbs said, keeping up his sanding rhythm. "He does."

They both continued to sand for another hour. Gibbs could tell Tony was getting tired. He yawned a couple times. He scrubbed his hands through his hair and over his face.

"You KNOW you don't have to ask, Tony." Gibbs said, smiling.

"Thanks, Boss." Tony said, putting down the sand paper. He then started up the stairs.

"Tony…" Gibbs paused. He wasn't sure how Tony would take what he was about to say, but after Ducky told him Tony had tried to say goodbye to everyone. He wondered if Tony would have anything to say to him.

Tony stopped turned and looked at him.

"I just…what would you have said to me?"

Tony smiled and came down the stairs. He gave Gibbs a huge Father/Son hug. Gibbs surprised himself by hugging Tony back.

Tony then stepped back. "I would have thanked you for giving me stability, for being my friend, and for putting up with me. I would have thanked you for valuing me for who I am and for what I can do." Tony stood and stared at him. "I owe you a lot Leroy Jethro Gibbs."

Gibbs nodded, too overwhelmed to speak, tears falling down his cheeks.

Tony smiled at him, turned and started back up the stairs.

"You're welcome, Son." Gibbs said as Tony disappeared through the doorway.

THE END


End file.
